People get embarrassed for all kinds of reasons. Perhaps you've forgotten someone's birthday, you blurt out a secret, you pass wind in company. Why is it that we react in such an immediate and powerful way?. Some causes of embarrassment stem from personal actions, such as being caught in a lie or in making a mistake, losing badly in a competition, getting debagged, or being caught performing bodily functions such as flatulence. In many cultures, being seen nude or inappropriately dressed is a particularly stressful form of embarrassment
Some people have the problem of getting embarrassed easily to the extent that a simple situation like the one above can make them hide in their homes for few days until others forget about it. In fact if you knew a little more about psychology you will discover that this situation should never make you embarrassed.
There may also be feelings of anger depending on the perceived seriousness of the situation, especially if the individual thinks another person is intentionally causing the embarrassment. There is a range of responses, with the most minor being a perception of the embarrassing act as inconsequential or even humorous, to intense apprehension or fear.
The first thing you think about when you make a mistake like this is 'Oh,no, they won't like me any more'. This is true of embarrassment when you are in a crowd as well as in one-to-one situations. You might say something inappropriate in front of your in-laws, and worry that they or your partner will be angry and that it will damage your relationship, or you might dance drunkenly with the boss at an office party and worry that it will damage your working relationship. Either way, your fear is that you won't be liked any more.
However, embarrassment is one emotional signature of a person to whom you can entrust valuable resources. It’s part of the social glue that fosters trust and cooperation in everyday life,” Robb Willer, another Cal co-author, wrote in this month’s online issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Being trustworthy and generous has many benefits, one of which is that if such a person is in a position of leadership, those being led often feel that their interests are aligned with their leader’s interests.
Embarrassment is a signifier that an individual’s values are in line with his or her society’s values, and that falling out of step with any particular value causes a reaction intended to mark the individual’s desire to conform to societal mores and norms. Embarrassment signifies an understanding and desire to be normal, which often reflects back in terms of desiring to aid the plight of the group over the self—desires necessary to exhibit both trustworthiness and generosity. So as long as the embarrassment an individual exhibits isn’t pathological or extreme, it’s an aid in moral conformity.
Human are social animals. Our society works on rigid rules of hierarchy, and we have our own place within it. Some of us work very hard to climb the social ladder and to get where we are, either in our nuclear and extended families, or in our work life - often in both! If we commit a social blunder, we are in danger of losing this kudos and falling down the ladder. We could be relegated to the outside of the inner circle. It's like being in a gang - you want to be near the leader, and if you anger him you will be sent away to do the menial jobs.
At the end of the day, we are pack animals and like to be in the center of the group. This is where the security and comfort is. The central core of the group gets the best food, the best security, and (best of all) the most attention from the pack leader. Anything you do to endanger this position means you move outwards away from the center, so if you do happen to make a mistake you want to show remorse immediately.
So if you find yourself in an embarrassing position, remember why you are embarrassed, and take steps to improve the situation. Don't run away. Assess the impact of the blunder - it might not be as bad as it seems and try to remedy the situation. Quite often an apology is all it takes!
The first thing you should do if you are embarrassed in front of other people is to indicate to others that it was a joke. State to others that it never occurred to you that you are tormented over it. Just laugh loudly and say "That's funny!". People will acknowledge that you didn't take it seriously and they will definitely stop doing it because you didn't respond the way they want you to -- they want you to suffer. But at least you manage to "act" as if you were not suffering. Now, this really depends on what you're embarrassed about.
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